After another Kettering domestic murder enough is enough - and we all have a part to play

What happened in their Petherton Court flat in the weeks, days and hours before Anju Asok and her children Jeeva and Janvi Saju were killed may never be known.

The only person who knows for certain is monster Saju Chelavalel, who is likely to die in prison after admitting the triple murder last week.

It was the third domestic homicide in Kettering in just under 18 months after the tragic deaths of Maddie Durdant-Hollamby and Marta Chmielecka – and enough is enough.

Now campaigners are raising awareness of the potential signs of domestic abuse – and the support available – to help those who are suffering in silence.

Dr Rachel Duncan, chief executive officer at Northamptonshire Domestic Abuse Service (NDAS), said: “We are encouraged to see that a life sentence will be handed down to Chelavalel but obviously horrified and heartbroken at the abhorrent murders of Anju Asok and her two beautiful children, Jeeva (six) and Janvi (four). No sentence can make up for their loss and our thoughts continue to be with their family. In our work, we see the devastating impact of domestic abuse every day but the murders of Anju, Jeeva and Janvi – and of Maddie and Marta – show how dangerous domestic abuse can be and the damage that perpetrators can cause.

“It also shows the importance of raising awareness of domestic abuse and the need to raise awareness of the range of abuses that victims can suffer. Domestic abuse is not just physical violence or sexual abuse. Frequently we see survivors experiencing emotional abuse which often comes in the form of coercive and controlling behaviour from the perpetrator and this can be as harmful as the more obvious forms or signs of abuse, as seen in these tragic cases.

“You could feel that you are walking on eggshells with your partner all the time or perhaps they track your movements, and you have to explain where you are going and where you have been. They may be overly jealous, relentlessly call or text you, control your money or frequently put you down, call you names or make you feel that you are worthless. Any and all of these things could be red flags that the relationship is unhealthy.

“Our message to anyone who is experiencing domestic abuse, thinks they may be experiencing abuse or knows/suspects that someone else is: please do get in contact with us. Calling us or emailing us for advice does not mean that you have to make any immediate decisions about next steps, but knowing more and being aware of your options is so important to help you make choices that are right for you, at the right time for you.

“We are here to help. You can call us on 03000 120 154 or email [email protected] for support or check our website (www.ndas.co) for further information on domestic abuse and services available to support you and your family.”

Nurse Anju, 35, was originally from Vaikom in the state of Kerala, India, and her family was one of more than 300 Malayalee families helped by the Kettering Malayalee Welfare Association (KMWA).

Sobin John, from KMWA, said they are now trying to make their members aware of the support that’s available to those experiencing domestic abuse.

He knew Anju and said she seemed quite reserved. He said she never spoke to friends about relationship issues and that he thinks she was scared. Mr John has since spoken to Anju's father in India, who said that Anju had called him a few days before she died.

He said: "She said she would tell him all about what had happened with Saju when she was next home. She never survived to tell the story."

Indian news sites reported that 52-year-old Chelavalel had ‘anger issues’ and would be violent over small issues. Those who worked with Anju at Kettering General Hospital (KGH) say they don’t believe she spoke about it.

A KGH spokesman said they have comprehensive plans in place to support staff when it comes to domestic abuse. He said they have arrangements to provide emergency accommodation, financial support, onward referral to specialist services and support with reporting to the police.

The spokesman said: “We have a hospital-based independent domestic violence adviser who supports both staff and patients, based within the safeguarding team.

“We have policies and procedures supported by training in place for our managers to support staff with issues, we have held internal awareness campaigns on the issue, and provide information to our staff about it. We have a bespoke training package for overseas staff joining the organisation which addresses this issue as part of comprehensive support we give to all staff joining us from overseas.

“We also have more informal routes where people can also seek advice and support through our open office service and We Care Café which are open to all staff.”

This is not a problem that is specific to Kettering. It is happening up and down the country.

Charity Refuge say that on average, two women a week are killed by a current or former partner in England and Wales. One in four women will experience domestic abuse in her lifetime.

One of those is Kettering woman Cali Dunkley, who bravely spoke out about the abuse she suffered at the hands of her partner when he was taken to court last year.

She urged anyone who is in an abusive relationship to seek help.